XXX. Bacchus and Cupid Catch Dave
Dave “the Dude” Devoran, free‑market ambassador, is seeking the end of the rainbow along the banks of the Duna. What follows is Episode XXX.
By Berger Bronte
(© Tom Popper)
I feel great. This night is mine. I’m interesting, I’m funny — my timing is perfect on all my jokes. I’m a little bit drunk, but I’m really ... I feel great. And, and another thing is, this woman really thinks I’m great. I mean, I know she always had the hots for me because, well, most women have the hots for me, and besides, she was doing me all these favors and stuff. But now that she gets to see me at my best, it’s ... It must be too much for her. I take her out and turn on the charm, and she’s gotta be thinking that she always knew I was something but she never knew what, er, how much. And what else is weird — this is so weird — is I think I have the hots for her too. I didn’t know it until now, but I really want to be on top of her and squeeze her ... and ... squeeze her and stuff.
“Erzsébet you look real good tonight. I mean you look hot,” I tell her.
“Thanks Dave,” she says. And then she glances down in her lap, all shy and embarrassed. OK, I slur a little ‘cause I’ve been drinking, but I can see this is like her biggest fantasy is coming true.
“I’ve always ... I’ve always admired your nose. ... Because it’s really cute,” I tell her. “You got a cute nose.” She doesn’t know what to say, she just keeps looking at her lap and then she smiles.
But I really mean what I’m saying. It’s like, you know, I just discovered that I really think Erzsébet is cool. The only reason I agreed to take her out tonight is ‘cause she did me all these favors; like she helped get me out of jail and she got hold of these gangsters who could chase away the gun runners who were bothering me. So I figure I’ll show her a good time to thank her, ‘cause I knew she was doing this stuff ‘cause she wanted to get next to me. So I take her to the karaoke place, this place we’re at now which I really like, and I do my lip‑synch thing. I know she must’ve been thinkin’ like “whoa,” ‘cause she never saw anything like that before.
I’m used to women falling for me. But it’s kind of ... it’s like weird with Erzsébet: She’s a brainiac and she’s not interested in business. She’s not even impressed by money — like she’s not even a normal woman. She’s just not my type, and I have to admit I can’t even understand what a babe like that sees in me — I mean besides the obvious stuff. And what’s even weirder is that, well it’s like, even though we have nothing in common, I think I really like her too.
So I feel great, ‘cause, this is really romantic and everything, and, and I know I’m gonna score too. I feel like just taking her home now, so we can go at it, but I want this to be special. I’ll wait an hour or so.
“Hey! Hey Erzsébet I’ll tell you what,” I say. “Let’s go dancing. Wouldn’t it be great to, uh you know, to go dancing?”
“Well it is late David,” she says.
“Nonsense,” I say. “Shank of the evening. You’re gonna love this.”
She shrugs and gives a weak little “OK,” but I know she’s dying to dance. This night is mine — and it’s gonna be hers too.