XXXIV. The Loveable Thief of Budapest
Dave “the Dude” Devoran, free‑market ambassador, came from America to Budapest to find his fortune, but he’s been having a rough time. What follows is Episode XXXIV.
By Berger Bronte
(© Tom Popper)
Öcsi looks into me with wide‑open eyes and explains the problem again in careful, even tones. His delicate face is calm and the only thing that moves is his mouth. He is so poised that you trust him immediately. But you have to be careful around Öcsi, because he is a master thief. He has been stealing since he was a child — it was an art his father taught him — and he has taken many things of great value.
Now he has stolen my heart.
I turn to David, who came to my house a few minutes ago, terrified, and translate Öcsi’s explanation: The gun runners who forced David to hide armaments in his home were not scared off when the Lithunian mob stole the weapons. Instead the arms dealers want revenge.
Öcsi, a Hungarian who was paid by the Lithuanian mob to steal the guns, has been told to stay hidden. Öcsi was also told that the Lithuanians are angry at David for the mess. The weapon smugglers are angry at David, too.
I feel bad, because it was my idea to involve the Lithuanians. I thought no one would be crazy enough to retaliate against the Lithuanian mob. Maybe I was wrong, but I was only trying to help. David doesn’t have to take the news so badly.
David stutters something about tough men he met in the street, then he begins mumbling: “Now I understand ... They’re out to get me. ... ever since I came to Hungary ... All out to get me. Why?! Why?” David shakes his head and rubs his closed eyes with his fingers. Then he lifts his face and smiles. “It’s silly isn’t it?” he says. He lets out a quick, strange laugh, and drops onto my couch, hugging his ribs, bending forward in a fetal position and rocking slowly. I used to love David, but now he seems so foolish. He should try to be as brave as my little Öcsi.
David has always been afraid, because he’s dishonest and it leaves him with a bad conscience. If a dishonest person like David wasn’t so afraid of taking risks, he would probably be a thief like Öcsi. Not that Öcsi is dishonest — in fact he’s very sincere. He just steals for a living. If Öcsi wasn’t so honest, he would probably be a coward like David. And if Öcsi was a coward, he couldn’t steal. And then how would he make a living?
Anyway, it was David’s biological mother, a Hungarian whom David only met a few weeks ago, who introduced me to Öcsi. She said I deserved a real man and she was right: Öcsi is only 17, but he is more mature than David.
Öcsi says I should tell David not to worry. He has seen these gang wars before and they never last long; a few people get killed and it’s all over. Öcsi promises he’ll try to explain everything to the Lithuanians. He even offers to take David with him. Öcsi knows of a safe they could break into, and they would earn enough to stay in hiding and travel around Europe for months. He says I can come too if I want, and I nod happily.
But David doesn’t seem interested. Instead, he looks kind of distracted. His eyes roll around and when he looks at me to speak, he seems to be having trouble focusing.
“Erszébet, this is crazy,” David says. “I’m a businessman — or at least I’m trying to be — and I can’t ...”
My doorbell rings and David’s jaw drops. His eyes go wide, then he runs to the bathroom and locks himself in.
I open the door, and see a man in garish clothing whom I met not too long ago. It is the leader of the Lithuanian mob. “Hello Erszi,” he says with a thin smile that creates hard, frightening creases at the edges of his eyes. “And hello, Öcsi. How is Budapest’s favorite little brother?”
He stands in the doorway with his knuckles on his hips. “Where is the American?” he says in bad Hungarian, his voice becoming stern.
“Now Joey,” a voice calls behind him in English. “Remember, you promised to be nice.”
The Lithuanian’s smile goes softer and he glances back, nodding.
The person who spoke in English slips past him and nods at me. It is David’s mother. “David,” she calls out. “Where are you? You have caused your mother enough difficulty. Please come talk with us.”
I wink once, walk over to the bathroom and knock gently.
“No, don’t listen to her.” he says in a hysterical whisper that is almost a scream. “She’s a spy! She’s with them!”
David is acting very foolish. I can’t believe I once loved him.